I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
