kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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