My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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