WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
