We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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