I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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