i don't like sucking hair
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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