8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
