im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
