All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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