hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize