3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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