Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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