doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
