So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
