I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
