honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
