Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
