its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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