Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
the raccoons are back...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
