i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
