dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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