the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
