Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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