honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I skipped work to stalk him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
