well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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