where am i from again
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
