Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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