Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You don't make any sense
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