How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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