just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
