toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
