Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
