She's like a pop up book from hell.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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