Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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