Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
