is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
