Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
