now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
