lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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