theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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