The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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