like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
