I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
