u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
