I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
