Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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