Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
