I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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