clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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