I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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