During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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