It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
